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royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(via pretty-little-bow)

zapppping:

just-another-puzzle:

markohppus:

bceky:

markohppus:

giving birth is essentially just like pooping except out a different hole

are your poops covered in blood and start screaming and crying

only after i eat mexican food

olé

omg

(via pretty-little-bow)

graysea:

Hello old sport my name old sport is Jay old sport Gatsby old sport

old sport

(via aftershaveocean)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

(via living-life-crazy-loud)